It's Black and White and I'm Red All Over

It's Black and white and
I’m Red All Over

Not cool as chips
Not safe as camels
The straw stuck in my
Craw-dropping
-smacked-gob
And I'm s’posed to
Stick that
Under me hat
You twat?

We're in the land of
Ain't so funny, honey
So haul yer
Eggs up sonny.
The top brass-
Tacked monkey
With eyes right
Says nothing bright
And drops his
Dead donkey Kong
All over this one.
Share of the pie with
Cucumber butties anyone?
We’ll make sure
The  sycophant
Never forgets, pet.

Cheap
As big
Girls blouses,
Keep your deals
In yer trousers
And keep it quiet,
As church mouses
But I'll gather
Sticks and moss
To chuck
At your
Glass-ceilinged houses
Boss.

Caught in nowt
But stockings and a
Basque,
You moral separatist.
I get the gist,
You popularist,
I'll put you on the
Kick-the-bucket list,
As many a truth
In a bespoke vest,
But I suggest,
That schtum
And mum
Are the words,
For the news
Paper’s new,
Polished turd.

Not happy, as
Larry lambs to the
Slaughter, as we
Go to the dogs
Brian,
We're
Sick as a Norwegian Blues,
You prick.

As you may pretend to have
Three jobs.
It those who actually need
Three jobs;

That you want
To read,
That
Shit.