Wednesday, 13 November 2019

Classroom Shangri-la

The play entitled
"The disband of the
Supply and demand teacher
(Double feature)" 
Hit the cutting room floor
The cast of broken legs
Were signed off by kids
Chocolates were scripts
For dwindling kindling
Unlistened to monologues
Were put to fire
There was no desire
To budget for another bucket
The caretaker didn't 
The head refused to
Remove it from the sand
At the Christmas show
The 14 year old band
Covered the Theme from Shaft
Slow
Real
Slow

Tuesday, 12 November 2019

Cally Road Supermarket

The gormless and student  Glide round in slippers Wide-eyed slow picky Like Wollworthian nippers Mixing with me  Who's carrying his kitchen  All I want's custard  My shopping list's itching

Sunday, 10 November 2019

He wishes was a little bit Tanka

The besuted soak
Watches the ball game basket
Fill itself under
Tbe bridge under the piss un
Do the top knot play some D

Tuesday, 5 November 2019

The Fireworks on the Bridge Tanka

What's fireworks night
Got that I ain't got? The bridge 
Fireworks the bridge 
He took it to the and real
Eyesed he loved beer like a child 

Monday, 4 November 2019

NY Jury Tanka

When the lowest bar's
Been raised these days these bloody
Days we ship Jurys
Surely the New York Times says
Best musical of the century 

Sunday, 3 November 2019

Let's Idiot Ourselves a Tanka

Seeing the world through
Football eyes the only thing
We can summise is
Question whys we idiot 
Ourselves OK no replies 

Saturday, 2 November 2019

Rumbardly and Trappist

The use
Deduced from
Faux Nins 
Plugged in
Jack from
The radio union
Spewed in
Chorton
Cum Hardy
Staid and
Plaid
Puts paid
The bowling alley
The lad
The cut
The chutspa
The input
Marked
Hardly
And out
Went the
Anything but
Views of
Nuns and
Narrow pins
Then some
Twelve son
Rumbardly
And trappist
They keep
On coming in

Poem whilst watching the nice breeders and the FT readers


The rah rahs
Cultivate the pub
The coffee bar spotifies
Dub
And in my
Overpriced
I knick me sandwiched
Knackered teeth
Pon de rub
And
If the English wind
Could be arsed
Twould 
Cry Mary
Maybe
*turns nose to snub

Thursday, 31 October 2019

Song for AKS Zły

Who's that team AKS Zły? 
Who's that team we all adore? 
'Cos they play in black and white
And always want to fight
Rascism
Sexism
Homophobia
Give me Fritz Kola
And I'll sing this when I'm sober 'cos
Singing is in order
Tolerance the law
Who's that team we all adore? 

Poeting About Tanka

Always had the phrase
Appropriate about the
Look and gait of lads 
'Geezering about' now I'm
'Poeting about' and late

Arsenal Palace Tanka

The raucous north and
The uptight south a phase heard
In a football crowd
To drink the cattled upstairs
In suprise they'd find up there

Wednesday, 30 October 2019

Bryter Layter

It will be
Bryter layter
He said 
The pub teletext read
The brass they pay
For muck shifting
Antipodean
Hangs
Like a horse's head
Above the outdoor
To The Jacket Inn

Where
A month's paypacket 
Is a week
For JCB shitshovelling
Downunder
Downunder
I'm fuckingupforfuckingoff
Just youfuckingwatch
Whatsayyoulad
Eh? 

Factor this f'thee
No more factory 
No more
Nutsn'bolts
On buttered toast
No more scores daubed
On boilersuit backs
No stench
Where waste n' slack
Bubbles river n'
Deceases flowers as
The site collie barks the 
Effluents

No more
Strikesout
Of brittania matches
For seniorservice
Influence
No more
Welded dartsmatches
Or papered
Wanderers weekendwins
Or shiny shitroll
A thou' of an inch
Thin

No more
Rivetingrounds after
That 'r
Tapered t' ward
The dirt of what
Mightr'mightnot
Someone's missus
Mightr'mightnot
Get up to at
Peacetime piecerate

No more
Boyracing fitter's mates
Or the last surviving
Warehouse Elvis
Talking
Sugar soap sagas 
That just don't wash
And footbollocks wi'
Golfbores
Workbores n'
Pooling
Boringdraws
By the score

No more
Labour of swarfcuts n' 
Jobcuts n'
Crossedthreads that
Steely tread
Where
Gastaped
Armbanded colonels
Toast vents that
Clatter bare

Where
The trophy's took
To the strapping Jock
To polish it
Eatyafuckingdinneroffthatlad
Shiny square

Where
Sirens match
The hooter matches
Where back rows n' rows of
Overalls by ankles
Grunt f't Sun
With a tab on

After
The crack
Violence of eggyolk 
Across precarious
Outdated Industrialware
Reading pages
Back to 3
In perperfuckingtuity

No more
Wooden prospects
As halfsnapped yardbrooms
Asbestosly managed
Headtobastardtoe
In glazedraised
Portacabin shopfloorchic

With a report sneak
Of corrosiveliquid leak
Where
Corrosive tipoffs and
Calibrated ballots 'r
Forklifted by 
Dynasties of masculinity
On to millbranded
Pallets
Heaped

With standup teas of
Five sugars
Pleading lottery
And bonusbollocks at 
Ends of tabs n'
Ends of lines n'

Fish that big n'
Iron work thick in
Colours of ghosts that loom in
Boilerrooms
With the bang n' tick of
Barpressured
Overtime reliefshift
Schtick

Where
The polishedbrassmuck
Wi' governors 
Steaming pigs
About
Generalstrikes
That run out
Where
Corporalpunishments'
Major
For weepingscabs

For what
Nursesmaid of
Sucklinggrade
Plaster
All their ways
All the way
From the lathe
To the grave

And plenty
Of filterless
Eh? 
And plenty that 'r
Craven
Eh? 
And plenty of
Rightbastards
Rightbastards
Every bastard day
Eh?

It will be
Bryter layter
He says
On the way to fit
A nonreturn valve
Leaves 
Bosswhitefinger
Marks on
Blueleft shoulders
Canteenwise
In silent sympathy

Two filamenteyes
Describe goodbyes 
With no suprise

Aye
Reckon it will be
Like


Monday, 28 October 2019

Flies on Him

He was the sort of
Geezer
Who used the word
Geezer
In the north
That thought every
Car horn
Was for him
That coughed
The same joke
Every time the dibble
Troubled the pub

Never a lighter
Only Swan vesta
After investing in
The carling darling
Would say
As they would say
In Russia
Muss go
Half knew the names
Of everyone 
And everyone heard him so

His blue tinted glasses
Would steam into him
On Derby day
Chalked nose
Chalked points 
House rules
Winner stays
He left
Behind
That tesco bag
Untold kids
Was not found for a year
Cos his flat
Was near the bins

And the Barmaids' curse
The Barmaids curse
'Till the next one stepped in

Saturday, 26 October 2019

The Construct Cometh Tanka

All brollies outside 
The museum you have to 
See 'en kid follows
First Mam close after the Dad
Looks long att the pub I'm in

Immediately Definite

I don't think you can
Drink as much as you can said 
The man I said
All life is in pubs 
All death is owt

Buying Frank O'Hara in Gay is the Word Tanka

In a town called ad
Equtte rain falls as pins as
Steely badges can
Afflict the knowledge outside 
The receipts are kept within 

As this plays Tanka

There's nowt more solid 
Poetic present than the
Clean shaved Irish face
Middle aged in an English
Pub just after opening

Friday, 25 October 2019

Gas Tanka

At the lights the drill
Music pounded hard labour
Past the pointless shell
Closed till Sunday openly
Gas adverting some saviour

Thursday, 24 October 2019

Saucing Tanka

Saw the kid who lived 
Off brown sauce outside the shop
Called it work vodka
His Pougues album eyes clocked smart
Coat slowly sliding deckwise

Mile High Brain Vacation

With singsong voice
West End makeup
Courtshoe shove
& Milehigh scrape
Hangs with heavycart
& tailof pony
Neat&tied&tight as
Seat B legroom
With neglect of change
Gait of safety
Regret of civility
Down the aisle of consilitory
Over 7 seas of mither... 
So marry your familiar
JohnnyWalker gob
With silence
Pull the brake on
Your brain vacation
She is only
Doing her job