Monday, 30 December 2019

Raising a Tanka for Willie IV

Past t' chippy selling
Caviar sign that takes no crêpe 
Director's boots own
In place Russian fired fish
And a liar's eyewitness

Sunday, 29 December 2019

Bouyant and Av'rage Tanka

Some fair bouyant
And av'rage felt a ghost stroke
His arse today as
The sponge of the area 
Wore daft on his sole that way

The Shopbottler

The spineclimbs
The bluebuilding
Intertwined
The twofor fivewine 
The shopbottler
Took the longwalk
'Fuckoff your
Entirechest'
He said
Inanoff balance
Stabbingincident 
'And keepsmiling 
At thedogs'
Turning whitethen
Roséred

Tankas for Goalposts

His brain defined as
A deflated Casey there
'Neath a back axle
Where he stooped to find jumpleads
For the goalposts of his mind

Tanka Fever Dream

All hedgehogs are from
New York I lost a pretend
Game of baseball too
Out with the in jokes and cog
Native matching wooden toes

Modern Tanka

You scared me and I
Accident'ly liked something
Started twitting at
Lookers and swipey Googlaze
Poems like this regurged bait

Saturday, 28 December 2019

A Bridget over Troubled Tanka

On people watch at
Abstract show they've scruff of line
Earblast and oblong 
Spacing time large scale they can
Vas mono I make up throw

Friday, 27 December 2019

Toothbrush Tanka

I cannot believe You electric toothbrush lot Cannot stand the sink Batt'ry powered gravity Bowers wasting on the brink

End of Burnage Fold Tanka

Slash in the woods were
Ten steps bdown bdown b
Down f't' paper round
Swaping teeth break toffee then
F't' pub selling coffee now

Thursday, 26 December 2019

Tanka for Ania

What teaches us the 
Drip of must that rolls down the 
Stablished thumbed page tea 
Is parties either lust or
Bust ne'er the bastards to be trust

Village Pub Waiting on Tanka

Village pub waiting
Int'resting incedent bait
Inward fruit machine's
Curtailing screaming out with
The gob in with the hating

ManU Sausage



Hilldweller's team's
From t'meat o't' city
Armbadges o' Celt &
Instabeef
Hipdweller's
From 20 10 milesaway
Strokes capitalbeard
Pushes 2veg frame
Peddles t'same
Polishes t'turd
Cuts thewhy
Hounds4 offgonemustard
Cept 2pints 4 10
Or 3 4 3
10a penny
Who's the wurst?

Monday, 23 December 2019

West Coast Irritanka

The husky voice-ed
Irritant has trained is wreck 
Owning aloud the 
Only joke worth having's no
One's ever done this before 

Another Taproom Passing

Another taproom passing 
Does not a poem make

Solid cabbies weeping
Another vacant space

Figuring the question inn
So beery asks another devastate

   Why you so upset? 

The reply described football style
By another commentate

   He owed me hundred quid! 

(It was then remembered 
Who he was 
Gob the size of the home end
Watch the price of a car
Landlady's clock
Around the head
For singing wrong songs
A name remembered
But yours forgotten
The partisan would anthem
Without full stop)

Therefore scored 
All laughter in his wake

As community shield's are
Played for keepers' sake

Offside the grief
The thing with tethers 
Feathers all nests
In willows break


Thursday, 19 December 2019

Tanka the Horrible

Levelling killing 
Fields the mourning rain photo
Framed once housed these three
Horrible kids not their fault 
The coroner's painting peels

Sunday, 15 December 2019

They've got your number

Last 4 digits Retirement age is APR Door flat 4 is Speed dial to AAA Lottery is Dates of death Statistics is Kids in care Years of service is Coins in cup Minutes of sleep is Number of bus Heart rate over 8 is Ticket in queue Death or glory is % swing red to blue

Monday, 9 December 2019

Shoreditch Haiku

Yap the winter dog
Cuts through grey wisp at crisp pace
Packet overtakes

Wednesday, 4 December 2019

An Ill-informed Tanka

No telegram to
Day only these leaves fell in
Cutting fields of thee
Dares compare the ill and ill
Informed processed meat and swill 

Tuesday, 3 December 2019

Lavish Bodice Bonus

(For the striking Wallace Collection workers)

For every 10k
Lavish bodice bonus
There are striking ruffs
Not asking much
In Century 21
And the only curio on display 
Is that fair pay can't be done

Friday, 29 November 2019

Manchester Train Waiting

They're flogging
Mulled bubbles
Down the
Manc swank bar
They're standing
At the station
Contemplating Kid R
The coldness is atrocious
The bar crawl is precocious
The supping tins
Basket bins
Eyes out
Wi' fluffy bras
Kids with
Mid range
Pre-coital stinge
Recluse their rage
Thus far
Brought together
By separation and
Saggy private
Train operation
Scratchy tannoy
Mass mendacioun
Then a football fan 
With a driving ban
Sings this is MCR

Tanka on the Megabus

Shake up this bag of
Traffic strip search for salty
Packet plastic time
Piece waggons off the shoulder
In asymmetric aspic

Tuesday, 26 November 2019

Domestic Machinery Scenery

It's aculture The whitegoods Are outagain Washers spinthedirt on Toilets cutoffbythecistern Fridges gassing matresses  Laidoff cursed forgotten No repairs upstairs For throwaway rotten This domesticmachineryscenery Epitaphs with bettingpen & Confuses hugely A landing robin

Does my brain look big in this?

Does my Brain Look Big in This? All these self-sacrificial Sheeping up to clothe Their own downfall conceit Would be free gifts For the schadenfreude Wolves of shopping mall street If it weren't for bleary-eyed Mirror-checks on Intellectual suicide vests & keeping the receipt

Monday, 18 November 2019

'A' Non in J. Roth Street

Case no.
A
Non 
Heard by court judge
A
Non
Mr
A
Non
Was instructed
To find alter
Native accommod
A
Tion
Within five days
A
Failing which
Non
With 
Standing efforts
On
Thee most 
Strenuous efforts of
A
Behalf to do so
Mr
A
Non 
Would find himself punish
A
Ble 
On
Grounds of m
A
King
Himself homeless the
A
Pellant
Was further warned that in
A
Cor
Dance
With 361
Subsection
A
Te of criminal law such 
Punish
Ment
Will con
Sist
Of up to sick
Weaks in pris
On
And in 
A
Core
Dance
With 362
Transferred to the police
A
Thaw
Ritties for
A
Place in the workhouse
A
Proved and signed Mr
A
Non
Homelessmanand
A
Pol
Ease K's
Worker

Wednesday, 13 November 2019

Classroom Shangri-la

The play entitled
"The disband of the
Supply and demand teacher
(Double feature)" 
Hit the cutting room floor

The cast of broken legs
Were signed off by kids
Boxed chocolates were scripts
For dwindling kindling
Unlistened to monologues
Were put to fire

There was no desire
To budget for another bucket
The caretaker was scared to
The head refused to
Remove itself from sand

The deputy danced
To the 11 year old band
At the Christmas show
Playing
Money money money

Slow
Real
Slow

Tuesday, 12 November 2019

Cally Road Supermarket

Cally Road Supermarket Sweep Gormless & student Glide round in slippers Wide eyed slow picky Wollworthian nippers Mixing it with me Carrying his kitchen Here to get custard & A couple of 3 bits in They're snails & I'm fried & far from mustard My shopping list Hits the ditch

Sunday, 10 November 2019

He wishes he was a little bit Tanka

The besuted soak
Watches the ball game basket
Fill itself under
Tbe bridge under the piss un
Do the top knot play some D

Tuesday, 5 November 2019

The Fireworks on the Bridge Tanka

What's fireworks night
Got that I ain't got? The bridge 
Fireworks the bridge 
He took it to the and real
Eyesed he loved beer like a child 

Monday, 4 November 2019

NY Jury Tanka

When the lowest bar's
Been raised these days these bloody
Days we ship Jurys
Surely the New York Times says
Best musical of the century 

Sunday, 3 November 2019

Let's Idiot Ourselves a Tanka

Seeing the world through
Football eyes the only thing
We can summise is
Question whys we idiot 
Ourselves OK no replies 

Saturday, 2 November 2019

Rumbardly and Trappist

The use
Deduced from
Faux Nins 
Plugged in
Jack from
The radio union
Spewed in
Chorton
Cum Hardy
Staid and
Plaid
Puts paid
The bowling alley
The lad
The cut
The chutspa
The input
Marked
Hardly
And out
Went the
Anything but
Views of
Nuns and
Narrow pins
Then some
Twelve son
Rumbardly
And trappist
They keep
On coming in

Poem whilst watching the nice breeders and the FT readers


The rah rahs
Cultivate the pub
The coffee bar spotifies
Dub
And in my
Overpriced
I knick me sandwiched
Knackered teeth
Pon de rub
And
If the English wind
Could be arsed
Twould 
Cry Mary
Maybe
*turns nose to snub

Thursday, 31 October 2019

Song for AKS Zły

Who's that team AKS Zły? 
Who's that team we all adore? 
'Cos they play in black and white
And always want to fight
Rascism
Sexism
Homophobia
Give me Fritz Kola
And I'll sing this when I'm sober 'cos
Singing is in order
Tolerance the law
Who's that team we all adore? 

Poeting About Tanka

Always had the phrase
Appropriate about the
Look and gait of lads 
'Geezering about' now I'm
'Poeting about' and late

Arsenal Palace Tanka

The raucous north and
The uptight south a phase heard
In a football crowd
To drink the cattled upstairs
In suprise they'd find up there

Wednesday, 30 October 2019

Bryter Layter

It will be
Bryter layter
He said 
The pub teletext read
The brass they pay
For muck shifting
Antipodean
Hangs
Like a horse's head
Above the outdoor
To The Jacket Inn

Where
A month's paypacket 
Is a week
For JCB shitshovelling
Downunder
Downunder
I'm fuckingupforfuckingoff
Just youfuckingwatch
Whatsayyoulad
Eh? 

Factor this f'thee
No more factory 
No more
Nutsn'bolts
On buttered toast
No more scores daubed
On boilersuit backs
No stench
Where waste n' slack
Bubbles river n'
Deceases flowers as
The site collie barks the 
Effluents

No more
Strikesout
Of brittania matches
For seniorservice
Influence
No more
Welded dartsmatches
Or papered
Wanderers weekendwins
Or shiny shitroll
A thou' of an inch
Thin

No more
Rivetingrounds after
That 'r
Tapered t' ward
The dirt of what
Mightr'mightnot
Someone's missus
Mightr'mightnot
Get up to at
Peacetime piecerate

No more
Boyracing fitter's mates
Or the last surviving
Warehouse Elvis
Talking
Sugar soap sagas 
That just don't wash
And footbollocks wi'
Golfbores
Workbores n'
Pooling
Boringdraws
By the score

No more
Labour of swarfcuts n' 
Jobcuts n'
Crossedthreads that
Steely tread
Where
Gastaped
Armbanded colonels
Toast vents that
Clatter bare

Where
The trophy's took
To the strapping Jock
To polish it
Eatyafuckingdinneroffthatlad
Shiny square

Where
Sirens match
The hooter matches
Where back rows n' rows of
Overalls by ankles
Grunt f't Sun
With a tab on

After
The crack
Violence of eggyolk 
Across precarious
Outdated Industrialware
Reading pages
Back to 3
In perperfuckingtuity

No more
Wooden prospects
As halfsnapped yardbrooms
Asbestosly managed
Headtobastardtoe
In glazedraised
Portacabin shopfloorchic

With a report sneak
Of corrosiveliquid leak
Where
Corrosive tipoffs and
Calibrated ballots 'r
Forklifted by 
Dynasties of masculinity
On to millbranded
Pallets
Heaped

With standup teas of
Five sugars
Pleading lottery
And bonusbollocks at 
Ends of tabs n'
Ends of lines n'

Fish that big n'
Iron work thick in
Colours of ghosts that loom in
Boilerrooms
With the bang n' tick of
Barpressured
Overtime reliefshift
Schtick

Where
The polishedbrassmuck
Wi' governors 
Steaming pigs
About
Generalstrikes
That run out
Where
Corporalpunishments'
Major
For weepingscabs

For what
Nursesmaid of
Sucklinggrade
Plaster
All their ways
All the way
From the lathe
To the grave

And plenty
Of filterless
Eh? 
And plenty that 'r
Craven
Eh? 
And plenty of
Rightbastards
Rightbastards
Every bastard day
Eh?

It will be
Bryter layter
He says
On the way to fit
A nonreturn valve
Leaves 
Bosswhitefinger
Marks on
Blueleft shoulders
Canteenwise
In silent sympathy

Two filamenteyes
Describe goodbyes 
With no suprise

Aye
Reckon it will be
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