The Sham New Tuppenny Waltz

The mafia waiters

The shoehorn marked foreign

Boxing Matilda with

Not much to go on

As Vladimir Eatwell is

Toasting the sink

I'm in t' cleavage of rain

With the boys on the brink

While def’rence presides over

The classes will clink

How plastic and trite

Sycophantic we think

As the wig n’ the gown set

Tug off their peers

We pick up our teeth from

The blood and the beer

And the man in the fox suit

Is pissing his sides

Claims corporate constructs

Do pretty our skies

Vacant in all sense that

Nobody’s home and they’re

Pointing their best points

With fingers of foam

At the bears and the bulls game

Getting pregnant with paws

But our talons lack sharpness

With no release clause

As gaffes trill’ion penny

Fly by unchecked

We’ve damp on the walls

There out of respect

As the bricks that we throw

Only ripple the pond

We still roll out the carpets for

These budget James Bonds

In make-up that’s fulsome

And grinning like plums

So declare y’self pointless

If sat on yer bums

All waving at pictures ‘cos

There isn’t no sound

For these scarves are for tying

But not that way round

As the queuers they queue

Cos that’s all they have got

And drink down the rainbow

Piss missing the pot

As the strawberries flower

In the fields of uncouth

They sew in the labels

In the clobber of youth

And toasters post toasting

Are thrown in the bath

And we all fall on someone

Under austere attack

'Cos the blisters of kickers

Are red raw like knives

And the jack boxes clever

In these times of our lives

But the circles decrease

As you get near the front

As peace passed us last week

And chinned us the brunt

‘Cos bands are tuned auto

Any fight left absconds

We despise all their success

But still sing their songs

As the bass it gets louder

And trebles come thicker

We’re freezing to death but

Still dance in our knickers

'Cos deference paid to

Is sanity lost

Your 20p sunshine

Will headline the cost

When it suits them to sell more

We’ll lap it up quick as

Incumbents get thicker

The sicker get sick as

They bruise the accused an'

Establish who’s fault

If we paint ourselves wallflower

We comply this assault

As the 45s spinning now

Fire off like Colts

We all dance the Sham

New Tuppenny Waltz